The highlight of my week...

Yup. I caved. I highlighted my damn hair.

The mission wasn't to go blonde, my hair isn't ready for that just yet, and I'm enjoying life as a brunette. I had dyed my hair with a semi-permanent medium brown dye about 3 months ago, which had gone practically black, (doesn't it always?) but it just hasn't washed out at all. So my very fair roots were about an inch long, followed by the previous lot of roots which were a darker brown but not as dark as the rest. It was beginning to look pretty bad so something had to be done.

As you know I'm currently out of work so can't exactly afford to splash out at the salon. So I took the plunge and bought myself a Jerome Russell B Blonde Highlighting Kit. This little box has everything in it! Highlighting cap, development cap, mixing tray, gloves, brush (with hook on the end, which I realised after turning the house upside down in order to find my crochet hook), the powder and developer cream. The cream is 40 vol which is the strongest you can get, only usually used to lift very dark hair. Well mine was very dark, with a massive buildup of colour underneath, I needed heavy duty stuff. No messin'. And I got it for only £6.49!

I had my mum pull my hair through the cap, an impossible task to attempt yourself, and whacked on the mixture, applying it to my roots last as they're virgin. The box recommends 35-90 minutes for hair as dark as mine... that's a preeeeeetty big gap, way to cover themselves if it all goes tits up. I know you shouldn't really leave bleach on for more than 50 minutes but I sat in the sun for another 5 to give it one final boost, then rinsed.

I nearly died. The colour is gorgeous. I'm all blended!

This really is as good as any salon job, and it cost me like a tenth of the price.

I just face one problem now. I've got the bug. The blonde bug. That horrible period where you're between colours and could go either way. What do you do? Persevere and stick with your original plan of heading towards Zooey Deschanel hair? Even though you'll never be quite as adorable as she is, nor rock the fringe in the same way. Or do you go with the familiar, something you know works for you and that you can pull off, but that could potentially send you back into hair rehab with a head full of split ends, while you coat it with Moroccon Oil in your attempts to deny your addiction to bleach.

I found myself trawling through old photos on Facebook this evening, and feeling oddly nostalgic about my platinum hair. It was so much more me, and I always forget that until I look at photos.
The obvious answer is 'stop looking at the photos then' but once an addict, always an addict.

I'm just getting my hair back in good condition. After years of abusing it I'm giving it some well deserved TLC. I don't wanna go and undo all my hard work, do I? Say no Hannah, just say no!

I was going to leave you with a memento of my blonde days but am having some serious technical difficulties, I may not have any hair left by the time I'm done screaming at my pc.

Realist Hannah is telling me to stock up on brown dye, cos she likes being brunette, she says it's easier and healthier.

Stupid Realist Hannah.

What do you think?

x

So that went well.

I realise I'm useless and haven't written in weeks, and there is no real reason other than just that - I'm useless.

Warning, it's a long one. Call it making up for lost time.

I started a new job and then got poorly. Really poorly. I'm better now, but unfortunately I had to leave my new job! It may seem rash and impulsive but it was carefully considered, and even my mother was fully behind me. In fact, she sort of encouraged it. I call it a job but it was actually an 'apprenticeship' in a nursery. The pay was terrible and the people even worse. I don't really like to work with girls and women as a rule as they can get extremely catty and nurseries, of course, are pretty much entirely female staffed. They did not make me feel welcome at all, rather they went to great lengths not to talk to me other than to give me orders. I wasn't there to be bossed around, I was there to learn but I was made to feel like 'the help', to clean up after lunch and do all the crap jobs. My manager was useless. I was there for more than a week before I was even CRB cleared. On my first day, having never worked with children before, she just chucked me in head first with the 2-3 year olds, telling me she'd be along later to do my induction and answer any questions I had. Well ladies (and gents, I know my fiancé reads this) that day never came. I'd go in each morning and make myself known to her, she'd tell me what room I was based in and again make vague plans regarding my induction. Then before I knew it, it was 6pm and I was off home, having guessed my way through another day. It's a good job I'm not a complete idiot and had some idea of what to do. It should not be my job to chase her up so I didn't, other than reporting to her in the mornings.

I went in one Wednesday morning feeling really rough, positive I was coming down with tonsilitis (again). My manager wasn't in but the assistant manager was. She was a little nicer in general, so I was a bit relieved. I told her I'd come in as I didn't want her to think I was a complete flake, but that if I didn't feel better soon having dosed up on paracetamol etc., I'd really like to go home. She said that was fine and to keep her posted. Two hours in, my temperature stupidly high, my throat raw, I surrendered. A nursery was no place to be in that state.

The next day was worse, I couldn't eat or even drink water my throat hurt so much. My head was pounding and just about everything hurt. I phoned in sick and made an appointment with the doctor (who sent me home claiming it was 'just a sore throat' and told me to 'try some lozenges'. Thanks Doc, hadn't thought of that.) I dragged myself back in the following morning, a Friday thank God, really not feeling any better. They seemed grateful(ish) but asked if I'd feel better doing a shorter day, a chance I jumped at. It seemed great but then it turned out they wanted me to work through lunch to cover the lunch breaks, then I could go at 3:30. So not really a SHORT day...I was exhausted.

That night I went deaf in one ear, following excruciating earache. Now I'm no pansy when it comes to pain, but I led in bed that night crying into my pillow with my hands clutching at my head, not knowing what hurt the most. I could not escape the pain. My mum came in to soothe me and quite literally hushed me to sleep. I felt like I was a child again, I was so glad I had my mum there. I'd worked myself into quite a state as I was, at this point, really worried that I was going to get fired. I'd been there 5 minutes and the thought of what they must think of me was stressing me out, only adding to my worries.

I spent Saturday morning at the Out of Hours at the hospital, Dean drove as my coordination was all off since losing half my hearing! The doctor there was lovely, very green but very helpful. She told me that I did in fact have tonsilitis, and had also developed a particularly nasty ear infection. She gave me a double dose of antibiotics and told me to get lots of bed rest; that pleased me as I was physically exhausted by this point. Expecting to feel better in a couple of days, (antibiotics usually kick in pretty fast) I had no worries for the following Monday, however when Monday came I wasn't really feeling much better. The ear pain had subsided but everything else was still apparent, and I was also beginning to develop Conjunctivis. Woo hoo! I shouldn't have gone in, but I did. For a day. Then I completely gave in and was sick of phoning in sick with the same reasons, so I got the doctor to sign me off until the following week. She couldn't argue with that, I wasn't making it up - I really wasn't fit for work. When the day came to go back, I felt slightly better, though not as well as I would have expected by this point. I was really run down. I was back for 2 days before I started to feel unwell again. I spent the whole day feeling like my brain was trying to come out of my eyes. My mum picked me up as my car had been in the garage, and I cried the whole way home. We stopped at the pharmacy for something to help relieve the sinus pain I was now experiencing, until I could get yet another doctors appointment. That night mum and I discussed how I felt about work, how my boss hadn't even mentioned my training (I was supposed to be studying for an NVQ Level 3, but there had been no mention of a study plan, when I meet me tutor etc.) I felt completely disappointed in my experience there so far, and admitted that maybe I'd made a mistake in taking it on, as I don't think I could sustain myself on apprenticeship wages for a whole year. She asked what I wanted to do, and I told her I wanted to find another job. In the time that I was at the nursery, I was messed about, ignored, shoved from pillar to post. For £2.68 an hour(!) at nearly 22 years old, I really didn't have to take this shit. My mum would never tell me to quit a job with nothing to go to, but I needed to get healthy, and that wasn't going to happen doing 40 hours a week in a place I already hated. With that I emailed my boss with my resignation, effective immediately, detailing some of the reasons that had led me to my decision, and explaining I thought it best to leave now, before any actual plans for my studying had been put in place.

I felt immediately relieved. I had time to concentrate on getting better without worrying if I'd even have a job to go back to. I didn't have to phone in anymore, and listen to my boss sighing down the phone when I told her I wasn't going to make it in (thanks for the sympathy). She made me feel like the worst person in the world for getting ill, as if I wouldn't have rather been fit and healthy?! The following day I returned to the doctors to be told I also had Sinusitis, (that would explain the feeling that my brain was rolling around in my head, trying to break loose) and I was given some more, different antibiotics.

I'm now more or less fully recovered apart from the reminance of a tickly cough, my hearing has recently returned, and I am once again in a search for employment. Depsite applying for countless jobs, I haven't been successful so far. I lack any kind of qualification other than GCSEs (which don't count for much these days), and it's becoming more and more apparent that, to get anywhere these days, you have to have some sort of qualification as recognition of your skills. On April 22nd I'm enroling on a fast track hairdressing course. My mum thinks I can aim higher but in the absence of anything else, what's the harm? It's something I've always been so interested in and I'm really excited. It will be hard to sustain myself financially for 16 weeks, especially following a period of unemployment, so my fella has kindly offered to help me out, as he's recently begun a new job. Hopefully upon completion of the course I can land a little hairdressing job and get back on my feet. Until then I've got myself set up as an AVON rep! It'll keep some pennies coming in at least, and I can work it around college.
It's funny how things work out. I've been so miserable for so long and it's been a struggle for such a long time, but there's finally some light at the end of the tunnel - I have a plan. It may not be groundbreaking but it's a plan which is more than what I had a few months ago. I've accepted that the apprenticeship route failed, and that it just wasn't meant to be. I'm on the right path, it just takes time.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm only 21. I don't have to have life sorted right now, that's what your twenties are for; making mistakes and character building! I'm just impatient and want it all now. I'm quickly learning that's not how it works.

So that's where I'm at now. Oh and I have a fringe.

Next week I will get back to routine, perhaps I'll start with my most recent project: bleaching my fella's sister's hair. That was a mission you would not believe.

Thanks for reading. I'll try and limit my posts to at least a quarter the length of this one in future.

Peace.
x

AKANE Mask Cocoon Nocturne - Review

So this is my first review, and I'm afraid it's not the most positive one!

I got a little pot of this stuff in my Birchbox in December, I think. It went in my box of stuff that I know I'll use, I just don't know when...

I was having a sort out and rediscovered it, just at the right time too - Winter has just about ruined my skin. I tend to have very dry skin but for the past 6 months or so it's completely flipped round and been excessively oily - what's that all about?! I'm currently in the process of getting to the bottom of why the sudden change, and suspect it may be something to do with those darn hormones as I've recently changed to a new birth control pill. I digress. Winter has sent my skin back to Dryville so I wanted to restore some moisture.

I found this mask and thought 'Brilliant!' I loved the fact that you could just whack it on and leave it overnight - that implied that it was some really hard-working stuff to me.

I read some other reviews online and there was a good balance of good and not so good, so I thought I'd try for myself.

I read the instructions on the pot, which were pretty straightforward, and the pot itself is really professional looking - nice and simple. Opening it up I was hit by the wall of odour which I can only describe as fruity Play-Doh (there's a market for that, no?). Not an unpleasant smell, just odd. It's a strange consistency - like porridge that's been cooked too long - stodgy and wobbly.

The pot tells you to apply a thin layer so I complied. It's surprisingly easy to rub in considering it's not exactly a smooth cream!

Once my face was suitably sticky, I washed my hands, and as I glanced in the bathroom mirror I noticed I was shiny. Like, REALLY shiny. This stuff literally forms a glaze over your skin, to really lock in the moisture I suppose. It tightens up a little, as you would expect from any face mask, but does loosen up again quite quickly, it's not uncomfortable. The only way I can describe it is as if you've painted PVA glue onto your face. We all did this to our hands at school, waited for it to dry and then peel it off and pretend it was our skin. Weird kids. But that's really how it felt!

Then I went to sleep. I couldn't wait to see my 'luscious and refreshed skin' in the morning, without a 'hint of fatigue' as I always seem to look so knackered and dull-skinned. I was half expecting it to all rub off during the night, given the amount I fidget in my sleep, but I was pleasantly surprised. This stuff is resilient, I have to admit. The instructions say to simply wash it off so I used a muslin cloth and warm-hot water. Turns out when you add water to this stuff it goes super slimy and it's very stubborn, so you have to be quite firm with it, maybe going over the same area a few times, squeezing out the cloth/flannel in between. A few bits had started to roll up and peel off during the night, and some just sort of formed little air bubbles, but most of it was still intact.

Make sure you get it all off. I left some on my neck and didn't realise for quite some time. People probably thought I had some awful skin disease which caused me to peel. Eesh.

After a thorough rinse, I patted my face dry with a towel expecting to look like I'd had a thousand hours of beauty sleep. But there was no difference to be seen! I still had dull, tired looking skin. The only difference was in the touch, it felt a lot smoother than usual, like I'd had a good cleanse.

To make sure it wasn't a fluke, I used this 3 nights in a row, and asked my mum to try it too. She was thrilled to try it - "No hint of fatigue?! Gimme!" But we were both disapointed. Mum thinks maybe she didn't use enough, but I know I did and it didn't make a difference.

Overall, I wasn't satisfied with this product and am still on the hunt for something to brighten my face up in the mornings.

Thanks for reading! x

Well hello!

It's nice to meet you. I'm Hannah, and I'm here to ramble write about all things Hair, Health, and Beauty. And perhaps a little fashion, too.

Ever since I can remember, I've been massively into hair and makeup, (and I still don't know if there should be a hyphen or a space in there?) and have always gone out of my way to try new things. I can't even remember what my natural hair colour is, I've had it so many colours in the last 10 years or so.

My makeup trends over the years have been...interesting, and I've enjoyed every minute of experimenting with the different ways I can decorate my face! So whenever I decide I want to try something new, I usually hit the net for reviews, and that's how I ended up stumbling upon beauty blogs and the like. It's just such a good idea, I had to give it a go.

Doing this combines some of my favourite things. Hair and makeup are a large part of my life, and I get to talk about them to people who share the same interest - I'm a bit of a chatterbox though, so be warned; I also love to write, but it's a struggle when writing about something of no interest to me, so this is a great outlet. My aim is to post weekly. Sometimes reviewing products, trying out makeup and hairstyles, and sometimes, just to have a catch up with you.

I'll also write regular updates on my hair situation - due to heat damage, over-processing (I was platinum blonde for a long time!), and a generally poor diet, my hair has really begun to suffer. I went brunette so that I didn't have to put it through any more hell but the damage, it seems, was already done. I've been trying to grow my hair for about a year with no real luck - it grows and snaps off, grows and snaps off etc. So I've bitten the bullet and hacked it off into a bob (pictured above left) with the hopes of regular trims and some TLC doing the trick. I'll talk more about the things I've tried as I know I'm not the only one in this sad position! We'll see how it goes.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and feel free to have a poke around, and follow me on Twitter etc. I'm really friendly and always up for a natter so feel free to drop me a message on Facebook or an email with any questions or suggestons, or even if to just give me some feedback - it's all useful!

Speak soon! :)

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